We take your privacy as seriously as a cat takes closed doors and a dog takes your unattended sandwich.
This policy outlines how we collect, use, protect, ignore, respect, misplace, and occasionally sniff at your personal information. Spoiler alert: we don’t do much with it.
1. What We Collect
If you voluntarily fill out a form, email us, or call, we might collect:
– Your name
– Your email
– Your phone number
– Optional pet information (name, quirks, dislikes, mysterious dietary needs)
We do not collect IP addresses, GPS data, click behavior, star signs, or shopping habits. We don’t even know how.
2. What We Do With It
We use this info for one (1) thing: providing care for your entitled fur creatures. This may include:
– Contacting you
– Scheduling services
– Remembering that Tuna must never be approached before 10 a.m.
We don’t use your data for marketing, retargeting, AI training, or making bizarre personality profiles based on your dog’s middle name.
3. Tracking Technology
There is none. No cookies, no beacons, no popups. We do not follow you around the internet. Or around the lake. The only tracking we do involves actual paw prints and actual trails.
4. Data Retention
We keep your info for as long as we need it to care for your pet or maintain basic administrative sanity. That’s it. If you ghost us, your info may be archived in a folder labeled Probably Moved, But Nice People.
5. Security
Data is protected with strong passwords, two-factor authentication, and a healthy fear of online breaches. Printed notes are stored in a secure location between the spare poop bags and an ominous rubber chicken.
6. Confetti Clause
We do not shower your inbox with confetti, offers, or surprise PDFs.
The only parades we endorse involve four legs, one leash, and the occasional victory biscuit. Digital celebration of your data? Not happening. Real-life party for your dog? Entirely possible.
7. Sharing Policy
We do not share your information with third parties, ad networks, data brokers, or loose-lipped pigeons. We share affection and liver treats only with the appropriate furry recipients.
8. Your Rights
You may:
– Ask what info we have on you
– Ask us to delete it
– Ask us if we remember your cat’s birthday
– Ask us why your dog seems to like Eve better (we can’t help you with that one)
9. Questions?
Email: eve@lakepawrade.com
Phone: (917) 566-0230
Carrier pigeon: discouraged. Too many feathers.
10. Effective Date
This policy is effective as of July 4th, 2025.
It may change if the laws change, or if a golden retriever eats the file.
11. Meow Jurisdiction
This policy is governed by the laws of the State of Connecticut, the bylaws of Ridgefield’s most judgmental cats, and the general code of pet dignity. Any disputes will be settled via mediation, paw wrestling, and/or an extended staring contest.
12. Tail Wags Not Legal Tender
While we deeply appreciate your pet’s enthusiastic tail wags, head nudges, or interpretive sneezing, these gestures do not constitute formal payment, consent, or legally binding agreement. We accept real currency only. Preferably not in crumpled ziplock bags.
We take your privacy as seriously
as a cat takes closed doors and a dog
takes your unattended sandwich.
This policy outlines how we collect, use, protect, ignore, respect, misplace, and occasionally sniff at your personal information. Spoiler alert: we don’t do much with it.
1. What We Collect
If you voluntarily fill out a form, email us, or call, we might collect:
– Your name
– Your email
– Your phone number
– Optional pet information (name, quirks, dislikes, mysterious dietary needs)
We do not collect IP addresses, GPS data, click behavior, star signs, or shopping habits. We don’t even know how.
2. What We Do With It
We use this info for one (1) thing: providing care for your entitled fur creatures. This may include:
– Contacting you
– Scheduling services
– Remembering that Tuna must never be approached before 10 a.m.
We don’t use your data for marketing, retargeting, AI training, or making bizarre personality profiles based on your dog’s middle name.
3. Tracking Technology
There is none. No cookies, no beacons, no popups. We do not follow you around the internet. Or around the lake. The only tracking we do involves actual paw prints and actual trails.
4. Data Retention
We keep your info for as long as we need it to care for your pet or maintain basic administrative sanity. That’s it. If you ghost us, your info may be archived in a folder labeled Probably Moved, But Nice People.
5. Security
Data is protected with strong passwords, two-factor authentication, and a healthy fear of online breaches. Printed notes are stored in a secure location between the spare poop bags and an ominous rubber chicken.
6. Confetti Clause
We do not shower your inbox with confetti, offers, or surprise PDFs.
The only parades we endorse involve four legs, one leash, and the occasional victory biscuit. Digital celebration of your data? Not happening. Real-life party for your dog? Entirely possible.
7. Sharing Policy
We do not share your information with third parties, ad networks, data brokers, or loose-lipped pigeons. We share affection and liver treats only with the appropriate furry recipients.
8. Your Rights
You may:
– Ask what info we have on you
– Ask us to delete it
– Ask us if we remember your cat’s birthday
– Ask us why your dog seems to like Eve better (we can’t help you with that one)
9. Questions?
Email: eve@lakepawrade.com
Phone: (917) 566-0230
Carrier pigeon: discouraged. Too many feathers.
10. Effective Date
This policy is effective as of July 4th, 2025.
It may change if the laws change, or if a golden retriever eats the file.
11. Meow Jurisdiction
This policy is governed by the laws of the State of Connecticut, the bylaws of Ridgefield’s most judgmental cats, and the general code of pet dignity. Any disputes will be settled via mediation, paw wrestling, and/or an extended staring contest.
12. Tail Wags Not Legal Tender
While we deeply appreciate your pet’s enthusiastic tail wags, head nudges, or interpretive sneezing, these gestures do not constitute formal payment, consent, or legally binding agreement. We accept real currency only. Preferably not in crumpled ziplock bags.